A Small Event in Farmleigh

I was sitting at my ease outside the cafe in Farmleigh, the magnificent estate in the Phoenix Park that the government had the wisdom to buy for the nation. The veranda of the cafe sits over the edge of the little lake that nestles between the trees, which lends a wonderful artistic dimension to the park. I had a cup of coffee, a homemade scone and some jam in front of me this lovely summer’s day. Children were throwing bread to the pair of swans and the many ducks who were vying for the attention of the donors. One mallard hen had eight ducklings in her wake, the chicks gave the impression that they were running on the water at times in their haste.

Three women were sitting nearby, pots of tea and cups before them, apparently without a care in the world, but then I heard one of them say “I’m not afraid of dying, until I think of the kids being without me, then a great sorrow, a crushing feeling of loneliness comes over me”. When one hears something like this, questions come unbidden to mind, the first and foremost being ‘Where is the hand of God in all this? Why does God allow so much suffering in the world? This is a question that theologians feebly try to answer, modern philosophers don’t even try.

As I was preparing to leave I sneaked a glance at the women, one was wearing a big cap, a sort of a beret, pulled down over her ears, an indication maybe that chemotherapy had or was being endured. My heart went out to her, my sister had died of cancer and my wife had breast cancer a couple of years previously. Fortunately my wife had survived this savage and merciless disease, but she too had worn a variety of caps while undergoing treatment.

I left, went on my way, walking in the sun, the ducklings were still running hither and thither on the picturesque lake. The three women were chatting, drinking their tea, but what of the woman in the big cap? Did she go on meeting her pals for elevenses in Farmleigh? Did God, or the Lifeforce, or Fate spare her? Will she live to see her children reach adulthood? I hope she does, oh I hope she does.

Eachtra bheag i bhFarmleigh

Eachtra bheag i bPáirc an Fhionnuisce

Clive Geraghty

Bhí me ar mo shuaimhneas, i mo shuí lasmuigh den chaife i bhFarmleigh i bPáirc an Fhionn Uisce. Bhí cupán caife agam agus bonnóg agus subh os mo chomhair amach. La álainn samhraidh, na lachain agus dhá eala ag ithe arán, páistí ag baint taitneamh as an gcaitheamh aimsire seo mar a dhéanann gach glúin. Bhí lacha amháin agus ál ocht éinín aici, na leanaí ag brostú i ndiaidh a máthair, cheapfá go rabhadar ag rith ar an uisce.

Bhí triúr ban taobh thiar díom, pota tae acu, iad, de réir dealramh, ag caitheamh roinnt ama anseo gan chúram ar bith. Ach chuala mé bean amháin, an bhean leis an gcaipín mór ar a cloiginn ag rá “níl imní ar bith orm bheith ag fáil bháis, go dtí go smaoiním ar na leanaí, iad a bheith ann gan mise. Tagann uaigneas, brón orm ansin”. Nuair a chloistear focail mar sin, is éasca uaireanta an saol a cheistiú, agus an cheist ba mhó ná, cá bhfuil lámh Dé anois. Cén fáth a ligtear tubaistí mar seo a tharla. Agus ar ndóigh, níl freagra ar bith ar an gceist sin, ní féidir fealsúna ná diagairí an cheist a fhreagairt.

Nuair a bhí mé ag fágaint na bialanna thug me sracfhéachaint, chonaic mé an caipín, saghas bairéad , tarraingthe síos ar a cluasa, fianaise go raibh ceimiteiripe á fhulaingt, nó fulaingthe ag an mbean óg. Ní gá dom a rá go raibh bá agam di, fuair mo dheirfiúr bás den ailse dhá bhliain ó shin, agus bhuail ailse bhrollaigh mo bhean chéile an bhliain chéanna, ach buíochas le Dia, tháinig sí slán ón ghalar gan trua seo.

D’imigh mé, choinnigh mé ar mo bhealach, choinnigh na héiníní lachain ag rith trasna an locha, ach cad faoin mbean óg. Ar choinnigh sise ar aghaidh le fada? Ní fheadar, ach tá súil agam go raibh trócaire ag Dia uirthi, agus nár fhág sí na páistí ina diaidh le fada an lá.

Not getting any younger

Some time ago the Irish Times started a daily birthday list. I soon noticed that rarely was there anyone older than me mentioned, unless it was a dinosaur like Bruce Forsythe, or someone very old like Nelson Mandela. Yesterday I saw that Frank McCourt’s younger brother Alphie is a few days older than me, and today Buddy Guy the jazzman is 77. Next Sunday I will be 73, and I must admit, I never saw that coming.

Six years ago I realized that I had been working for fifty years. I had started working at 17 as an apprentice in the Air Corps, then after a few years changed direction and spent most of the rest of my working life involved with the Abbey Theatre, with many interesting jobs in the freelance world of TV, film and radio to keep me renewed. However, fifty years is a long time and there were other things I wanted to do before I got too old. I decided to park my life as an actor and get an education.

I had only ever spent one year in secondary school, then two years in a ‘Tech’, and was acutely aware of my educational shortcomings. I enrolled in a Diploma course in Irish in NUI Maynooth, over two years, and while I was engaged in that I heard that it was possible for mature students to enroll in university. I put in my application to the CAO, was accepted, and in September 2008 I started my life as a full time undergraduate. My first year subjects were Modern Irish, Medieval Irish and Celtic Studies, and Greek and Roman Civilization, with the latter being dropped for the final two years of the course.

In my Irish class there were 209 students, only two of us hadn’t done our Leaving Cert. that year, so it was a culture shock, to say the least, to be in the same boat as that many  teenagers. But they were great, for the most part hard working, pleasant companions. I had the advantage in as much as I was doing this for my own sake, I was not looking to the future, but they had the burden of knowing that their efforts in the next three years was going to have a knock-on effect for the rest of their lives, a big burden.

Three years passed, I had never worked so hard in my life, the challenges were enormous, but the reward of doing well in all three years was unsurpassed. I graduated in 2011 along with hundreds of my classmates, in the lovely surroundings of the Maynooth south campus, one of the best days of my life. I decided to go on and do an M.Litt , did some work for a year, reading and tutoring, but have now decided to park that task for a while, maybe for good, there are other things to be done.

So maybe 73 is the new 63, I know I don’t feel 53, so to hell with it, I’ll go on, following wherever my heart and head tells me to go, which is usually the path less taken, but that direction has never let me down yet.